Sec’y Panetta – Part I: A Republocrat in Vietnam

As the great equalizer Leon Panetta wraps up his tour as Secretary of Defense by “opening up” combat to America’s mothers and daughters, let’s take a closer look at another of his recent recklessness before addressing G.I. Jane.  Take a deep breath and follow me closely… Leon Panetta (a Democrat), who used to work for President Nixon (a Republican), who was ultimately held responsible for the war in Vietnam (by Democrats), which was started by President Kennedy (a Democrat) who believed in the “Domino Theory,” which was coined by President Eisenhower (a Republican), but later ridiculed by anti-Vietnam war protesters (Democrats) only after Nixon (a Republican) became president and by anti-anti-(that’s not a typo) communists opposed to the foreign policy of President Reagan(a Republican), which is irrelevant now (that is, the “Domino Theory”) because we’ve seen the end of the Cold War—begun during the administration of President Truman (a Democrat), but really the fault of President Roosevelt (a Democrat—not his cousin, also a President and not a Democrat) and continued by Presidents Kennedy and Johnson (yep, Democrats), but not opposed (by Democrats) until continued by Presidents Nixon, Ford (Republicans)—skip President Carter (a Democrat)—and Reagan (a Republican)…Back to Secretary Panetta (still a Democrat, used to be a Republican), who visited Vietnam last year to finagle the use of our former Navy base at Cam Ranh Bay (opposed by anti-war Democrats during the Vietnam war)—originally established by President Johnson (a Democrat)—in order to “reposture our forces”—a term that sounds like it was invented by Secretary Rumsfeld (a Republican) under President Bush (a Republican, but not his father, also a President and Republican) and served under President Nixon (a Republican) at the same time as Secretary Panetta (still a Democrat)—to counter the “threat” from China, a communist country praised by anti-anti- (still not a typo) communist Democrats in the 1960s and 1970s, but with whom diplomatic relations were launched by very anti-communist President Nixon (a Republican) in 1972—and a country with whom we are not currently at war and which is as close as a drunken crow flies to Cam Rahn Bay as Miami is to Havana, but not to worry because Secretary Panetta (still a Democrat) swears the “increased U.S. involvement in this region will benefit China”—which again sounds like Rumsfeld (still a Republican, but not in power—but might as well be)…and interestingly, Secretary Panetta (still a Democrat and no longer a Republican) offered that diplomatic gem while visiting every ally in the region except our biggest, Pakistan—a country which has been courted by both Democratic and Republican presidents, but with whom we are now “reaching the limits of our patience” because the country isn’t doing enough to stop terrorism—even after President Obama (a Democrat) showed them we mean business by bombing Pakistani civilians from drones—with which Democrats seem to be OK, unlike Napalm in Vietnam, helicopters in Central America and landmines anywhere, which, of course are Republican weapons…and, by the way, we are not at war with Pakistan and it is, still in fact, an ally, but that shouldn’t be too surprising because Nobel Peace Prize-winning President Obama (still a Democrat), who vehemently opposed the War in Iraq when it still belonged to President Bush (a Republican, but not his father, also a President and Republican who started the other war in Iraq), has Commander-in-Chiefed us into war in Libya, Syria, Yemen and maybe soon…Iran.

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